The Extremely Embarrassing Diary of Draco Malfoy
by maraudersforever81
Summary: Hermione goes through Dracos trunk to see if there is a dark object in there...there wasnt but what she did find was an even better discovery! One shot please review!


**AN: So here is a little one shot…kinda random but uh here I go! It might not be funny but…**

_The Extremely Embarrassing Journal of Draco Malfoy_

"Why did Harry have to send me to look through _Draco's_ trunk, of all people?" Hermione muttered as she navigated her way through the corridors of the dungeons to the Slytherin dorms. Harry had sent her to find a dark object that he believed Draco possessed. He was currently at quidditch practice, and it would be safe to search through his trunk. She arrived at the entrance-covered in Harry's Invisibility cloak, of course- and whispered the password (Stolen from an unsuspecting first year) and the portrait admitted her with out even bothering to see that no one was there.

The common room was unpopulated at the moment, so she padded over to the 6th year boys' dorms. She opened the door quietly, and saw that the room was a mess.

"Someone must have had a lot of fun in here last night…" she murmured smirking. Draco's trunk was very easy to find; it was the most extravagant. Only he would have to have the finest in everything. "Git," she said to herself.

The trunk had been carelessly left open for her to search.

"Well thank you, Draco!" she said to herself. She began to sift through it, pausing and trying detection charms and spells when something looked suspicious. After half an hour of seemingly pointless searching, she had still found nothing at all. Just as she was about to leave, Hermione noticed a little piece of ribbon sticking up from one of the corners of his trunk.

"Yes!" She whispered excitedly.

After gently tugging it, the supposed bottom of the trunk lifted to reveal a little black leather bound book. Frowning, Hermione picked it up curiously. She opened it to the first page which said "The Diary of Draco Malfoy" She muffled her laughter with her hand.

"Now _this_ definitely looks promising!" she cried, but not too loudly.

Hermione read about Dracos's feelings for a second year Huffelpuff, about how much he missed his imaginary friends which he had left at home for their "safety", when he had tripped down the stairs and his too big pants and boxers fell down, when he had been trying to impress some girls at a bar and accidentally sat down in the trash can instead of a bar stool, and had a hard on in a Speedo… And these were entries from this year! Hermione giggled and stuffed the book in her cloak pocket. The Malfoys were a very famous family, so she thought that the Daily Prophet and Witch Weekly would love print the best parts.

She fled back to the Gryffindor common room and ran up to Harry and Ron.

"You will never believe what I just found!" She cried, panting slightly.

"What?" Harry demanded, standing up and looking expectantly at her.

She didn't reply, but simply handed over the diary.

Harry frowned, this was not what he expected.

"I didn't find any dark objects, but I did find this. I'm sure the Daily Prophet and Witch Weekly would love to see it," she said smugly.

Harry stared at her for a few seconds, and then his face broke out into a huge smile. He started to read it, laughing loudly. Ron stood up and read over his shoulder, laughing as well. They were both red in the face and crying from laughter

"Good work, Hermione," Ron complemented, tears running down his cheeks as he gasped for air.

"Thanks," she replied happily. "Now, I think we should send this to be published," she said mischievously. They owled it to the said publishers, and two days later, it was published in the Daily Prophet as well as Witch Weekly.

Hermione was drinking her pumpkin juice on a Wednesday morning when the Prophet arrived by owl. She handed it the necessary coins and opened it to the front page. She looked at the headline, and spat out some of her pumpkin juice from laughter. Parts of the diary were published!

"Harry, Ron, look! Here it is!" she cried, thrusting the paper in their faces. They had a mini-celebration.

Hermione said, "I'll be back…" with glinting eyes. She took off to the Slytherin table where Draco was staring at the paper, horrified.

"WHAT? HOW?" he howled crumbling up the paper and throwing it across the hall.

Hermione walked up to him and whispered, "You might want to lock your trunk next time," before running away, giggling with glee.

"GRANGERRRRRRRRR!"

**AN: Just wanted to type up something completely unrelated to the fic I'm writing now (CHECK IT OUT!) . So what did u think? Sorry I couldn't come up with anything funny…au revoir!**


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